Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You were trust falling into bushes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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