If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
