Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize