love makes seman taste better
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
