Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
