he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
