I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
