Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
