idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
