i permit you to call me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
