If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
