Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
