just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
