I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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