dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
