We named our party play list daddy issues
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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