Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
