I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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