please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
