Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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