google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
