Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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