You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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