Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
