You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
