That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
