You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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