That's when you crack a 10am beer
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
