THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
