Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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