I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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