I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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