Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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