i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize