Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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