I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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