glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
