Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
