Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
