you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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