We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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