I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
