he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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