So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
