dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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