I accidentally had phone sex last night
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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