out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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