The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
