Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
