yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
please come you make the beer taste better
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
