i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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