I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
