hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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