Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
