Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
