just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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