I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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