I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize