I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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