we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
